Movie and rock stars espousing their opinions on the deep issues of the day
QUESTION | Dear ed, why are movie and rock stars always being asked their opinions on the deep issues of the day? Who cares what these numbskulls think?
James VanNatter
Iowa City, IA
ed SPEAKS | Dear James, I share your lament, especially concerning rock stars. So let's push and prove the point, shall we? If rock lyrics are any reflection of the rock artist, a simple core sampling of them doesn't exactly reveal veins of profundity waiting to be mined. I've put a few examples into helpful categories which should not only illustrate why we shouldn't ask pop stars to muse on heady issues but also to put forward an indirect argument for euthanasia. Read on.
Philosophical Dialectic, Extremely Poor Examples of:
Here I call your attention to the age-old question asked by The Clash: "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" The question itself is a promising beginning in the Socratic tradition, but the logic quickly unravels. Consider the central dilemma of the song:
If I stay there will be trouble
If I go it will be double
If the goal is to MINIMIZE trouble, the dilemma is no dilemma at all. Obviously, he should STAY. What's more tragic is that it took these guys another three years before they saw clear to "Rock the Casbah."
Being Alone, Confusing Definitions of:
Here I turn to the ever-original George Thorogood and his grand paean to the solace of alcohol, "I Drink Alone." Consider the following couplet:
When I drink alone
I prefer to be by myself
Clearly, George feels it's necessary to distinguish the present situation from when he drinks alone, oh, with a dozen of his closest friends.
Rhymes, Unforgiveable:
How about these lines from Rick Springfield's 1981 ode to unrequited love, "Jessie's Girl":
I feel so dirty when they start talkin' cute
I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is prob'ly moot
You know, I actually wish he had sung "mute" there instead of "moot." Yes it would make even less sense, but it would rhyme -- and "mute" is a word that always pops into my head when I think about soap opera stars contemplating music careers.
Nonsense, Overabundance of:
This one is for all those with parents who swear that the 50's and 60's were the golden age of Rock 'n Roll. Cue up "Land of a 1000 Dances":
I said, naaaaa na na na naaaa
na na na na na na na na na na
na na na naaaaaaaaaa
So, an open letter to rock stars: I don't mind if you make your albums, go on tour or even trash the occasional hotel room. After you leave the stage, put a sock in it. Thanks.
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