Performance art -- it's all very subtle
QUESTION | Dear ed, what's your opinion of performance artists? I find them frightening and unapproachable.
Timothy Halas
Scottsdale, AZ
ed SPEAKS | Dear Timothy, I love performance art. I once went to a show, came out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my shoe, and won "Best New Artist."
Just because you spend your days in a public square squirting lemon juice at passersby, wearing little more than a climbing harness and all the while shrieking in German, doesn't mean you aren't a fun, easy-going guy. You have to interpret beneath the surface; it's all very subtle. For instance, I think the squirting of lemon juice represents perhaps an aversion to all things "tangy," and the climbing harness, well ... I think that just represents extremely poor fashion sense.
I think I dated a performance artist a few years ago. During one performance at this very nice French restaurant, I kept belching and insulting the head waiter (naturally representing my angst over the oppressed state of prairie dogs in this country) and she got up, slapped my face, screamed "YOU CRAZY JERK! DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!" and stormed out. It was quite powerful, but I'm still wrestling with the subtleties of her performance. I think the slap may have been a clever attempt to raise awareness of lactose intolerance, but I guess I'll never know.
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