Hair salons are the worst offenders
QUESTION | Dear ed, recently I've been alarmed at the trend for "cute" play-on-word names for buisnesses. Hair salons seem to be the worst offenders -- e.g., "Hair We Are," "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow," "The Mane Event," etc. Who is to blame for this problem, and how can it be stopped?
D.S. Wardo
Rochester, NY
ed SPEAKS | Dear D.S., yes, indeed, what is the deal? I used to go to this place called "Hair De Har Har Har," which was a hair salon/comedy club. One time the guy on stage got off a couple of good jokes and ... well, let's just say Barber Boy started laughing and got a little careless with the nose-hair trimmer.
Can this awful punning be stopped? Probably not. Certain types of businesses attract certain types of people. Hair salons attract lovers of stomach-cringing word play just like Used Car Lots and Appliance Stores can only be staffed by the criminally insane.
"Only two days!! Our manager recently underwent both a frontal and lateral lobotomy, and now an acute reaction to his massive doses of medication is causing him to slash prices willy-nilly!!! Washers! Dryers!! Toaster Ovens!! Our boss is rabid! He's nuts! Get down here and watch him chew his own arm off!!!"
Their dare, nay, their PLEA for me to drop what I'm doing and hurry to take advantage of their weakened mental state always makes me a little uncomfortable. It arouses more pity than a bold capitalist impulse. How would you like to work for a guy who makes major shipping/ordering gaffes WEEKLY?
Anyway, I'm late for my appointment at "Why Are We Hair?" a place run by existential hairdressers. Yeah, overall it's a depressing experience, but I've never walked out of anywhere with such lustre and bounce.
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